What I’ve Learned in my First Year as a Web Designer, pt. 1

aka Happy 1st Biz Anniversary, Pt. 1

It’s been about 365 days since that fateful Workshop Downtown mastermind where 6 women said, “Hey, we need you.” But, unlike anything I’d ever heard in my student/volunteer/ministry worker life- they then all said, “But we won’t let you do it for free.” And- just like that- in a couple hours I went from a girl with a blog to a woman with a service page, a business model, and service packages to offer incoming clients. I’d spend the next few weeks learning how to invoice, how to do client calls, how to manage my accounting, and how to do all the things that are now just second nature to me. 

I remember needing a solid month just to process what had happened. Would I need to request time off now? Was summer, like, not just assumed to be free time? Where do I want to take this? What exactly am I doing? How do… actually do it? And maybe, most importantly: Is this really what I wanted? Of course it’s me and I couldn’t even fathom doing some half-heartedly or only for a bit or just as a side project- no. Owning a business had to be a part of my life, a part of my identity, something I really wanted for my future as a human being. It couldn’t be trivial. I just don’t work like that. 

And, after a while, I figured I’d give it a shot. I liked designing, I loved writing, and it was genuinely really fun to design a website- even for someone else. Web design is really like character design in a way. You have to get in someone’s head, learn how to walk and think and look like them, and then make this whole new, dynamic being that entices and excites people. I could pour in all my fiction writer skills like world-building, character creation, and creative writing into something people would pay good money for: brand building, website creation, and copy writing. Turned out asking myself if a fictional character would dye their hair or dress a certain way really wasn’t all that different from figuring out if this candle company was more of a velvet and tights vibe or definitely more of a flannel and leggings kinda gal. Then, from there, just like I’d write dialogue or plot points to match- I’d make sales copy and layouts to match instead. Nancy’d never swear and Naked Candle won’t say “y’all” - same shiz, different day. 

I really, really love the creativity of it. The passion of it. The constant newness of making websites and learning the voices of companies. I basically get to become a character for a while- and that’s why it takes me a while to get into it, but then 2 seconds to execute it. And- why I had to learn ways to not be too personal about it. Going from creativity being my side hobby to it being my legit actual career I made money off of was such a mental shift. I haven’t cried because somebody didn’t like a website design- but I’ve definitely felt the sting of “but I did this for a reasonnnnn. Please don’t change it. I liked that :( “ but, look. It ain’t my website. It ain’t my baby. It’s their’s and I’m just the middle man- get it together, babe. I can pour love into something I create and then let it go. 

And it’s all these mental shifts and these in-between dances I had to learn- sometimes the hard way. I needed to be personable but professional, creative but analytical, flexible but honest, and free but structured. And the mindset, y’all, the mindset. That shift from being a student to being a self-employed service provider is the single greatest mental change that’s happened in the last year, and even if I do one day enter the normal workforce, I will never doubt that shift in my attitude towards my work and value.

I genuinely spent all of this spring realizing I wasn’t a student anymore- serving overlord professors that said it had to be this way, and that’s the way I was going to do it- no matter how senseless, odd, or time-consuming it was. If I wanted an A (which I did), I was gonna spend 10 hours scouring the UNLV library database looking for obscure and verbose research papers on Shakespearan masculinity and I was gonna like it. I was gonna feel “immersed in the bookstacks of history” just like the syllabus said I would and I was gonna get it done by December 10th whether I wanted to or not. Chug that Monster and get to it, babe, you got 20 pages to write about something you’ll never need again outside of a conversation where I wanna sound smart.  

First of all, the energy I need for making websites and writing emails is entirely different than the energy I need to write a decent paper. That was a hard and long discovery in and of itself. Creative energy and academic energy are two entirely different beasts in me- and they require two totally different methods to recharge. I felt like I was at war with my energy for much of this spring, as I’d be absolutely wiped after only a few hours of intense work. Even if I chugged a few more energy drinks- now I just had a headache and really couldn’t get anything else done. This… was a rather unfortunate thing to discover when I was already a week behind a deadline and still had a few actual papers to write. But, I didn’t know. I’d never done this before. I had to learn to get better (and learning to say those statements to myself- instead of a bit more… harsh ones was also a part of the initial learning curve.)

And I have. It took me the absolute blur that was this last spring (I don’t remember much of March-May of this year very well at all) - but it was a hurricane I’m glad I made it through. I discovered clients weren’t professors- they weren’t the all-knowing experts I had to submit to or get a bad grade, but fellow creators that needed my expertise to support them. I didn’t need to be so anxious every time I gave them a draft or an update- this wasn’t a grade-based effort. If I had a question, I needed to ask- they wouldn’t assume I was dumb or weird or bothering them- they should know I’m trying to support *them* and *their* goals. That shift- that’s the biggest and hardest thing for most students turned service providers I’d say. It’s the first thing I’d talk about to any student wanting to do client work (other than “how self-motivated are you?”) 

Running my own business has just made me a lot questioning of how I’m spending my time and where my energy is going. My first question to anything anyone asks of me is “why?” even if it’s just in my own head. There has to be a reason. Time is literally money to me nowadays- and anything that gets my time and energy has to be worth something. I will not just do busy work because I got time to kill or spend time on something low priority when I already have bigger things to tackle. I’m a bit more staunch these days about boundaries, off times, and limitations- but it’s the most loving thing for myself and those around me. I really take issue with self-employed jokes that are like “Now I work 24 hours a day!” because boo, you shouldn’t. Stop it. You ain’t working for nobody worth working for. Turn off some notifications, get yourself a separate work e-mail, and set reasonable timelines with ample time for leisure and rest. 

If you’re gonna be your own boss, be a damn good one. I am my best and only asset and I better be at my best and no, that doesn’t mean “work 24/7, top-game all the time, never sleep” best- that means “enjoying my life, feeling creatively fueled + able to think imaginatively and freely” best. It means that I really want to be alive every morning. That I get to cook good, colorful food and tell my friends “yeah, I’m free” when they want to hang out with me. That if I have the slightest inclination to complain about my job- I fix it- because the only thing in my way is me. My life is mine- more than ever- and I’m going to live like it. 

I can’t tell you how excited I am to be doing this full-time starting next summer. Designing websites, writing e-mail campaigns, and using words and design to tell creative’s stories is honestly my favorite thing. The more I do this job, the more I know I was made to do it- because it just ignites everything good in me. I love meeting fascinating, creative people who trust me and let me into their own lives and passions. I love getting to go places I’m interested in and using my skillset to genuinely make people’s lives better. I love hearing the squeals and excitement on the phone the first time somebody sees their website. I love how this job can come with me anywhere, can apply to any field or niche, and can let me become whoever I want for a while. I get to go to interior design installs, poetry festivals, and local markets and call it “work.” There is so much potential here, and I’ve just barely scratched the surface.

I ended up writing so much reflecting on my 1st year of business I’mma realize a pt. 2 here soon. And another HUGE thank you to everyone who has supported me and made this possible. Thank you to every client, mentor, friend and cheerleader during this past year. I did not get here alone whatsoever.