What I’ve Learned in My First Year as a Web Designer, pt. 2
It took me a while to accept the money I was making off honest questions, desperate Google searches, and frequent learning on the fly. The way I’d lay on the floor, silently banging my head against a wall that wasn’t gonna move. Hitting a cement question mark that wasn’t gonna let me go any further. But then I’d get up after a while, type an honest e-mail- and get back at it. Turned out being willing to be the one on the floor, the one searching for answers, and the one who was gonna dig and dig and dig until I found something useful was a sellable skill in and of itself.
People weren’t too worried about me being perfect- so much as they wondered if they could trust me, if they could hand me something and I’d carry it somewhere better, somewhere less headache-inducing.
Slowly I’ve built systems that have helped me loads over the past year. Questionnaires, surveys, timelines, and templates that keep me organized and my clients rooted in our project together. But, we started all this on free tools, late-night Google searches, and a lot of “I sure will try.”
Now I’m facing professors and heads of departments, answering the question of “oh, so what are you gonna do with your degree?” With “well, I *am* a web designer.”
The designer bit of that stumped for a long while. I’m not trained or distinguished or anything fancy in official graphic design. The most I’d done is bullet journal, lead a yearbook class, and design some killer Sunday School worksheets. But, somehow, my love for monthly color pallettes and hand-drawn layouts done just-right translated into text and pixels and wireframes. I had a better eye than I thought I did, and soon I had to learn how to give myself credit for the talents I had. I couldn’t just downplay anymore- was I good or not? Was I worth getting paid or not? Could people trust me? Was I going to create good work? And if I couldn’t, was I gonna learn how to get better? Turned out all the answers were yes- as I slowly have gotten better and better, learning and evolving and doing easily what I once sweated for hours.
The community that made this possible can’t be thanked enough. I wouldn’t be here without what was once the Workshop Downtown. So many of them became my clients and cheerleaders, some of which I still have the honor of working with and growing alongside them. Same goes to my Internet aunts in Yellow Co. guidance groups, they really heard me and walked me through phases and questions I’d never known to even ask before. When I say people have poured into me- I mean that I was an empty cup that they filled to the brim.
In this world of solo-entrepreneurs and self-bosses, we are truly a community, tight kit and intertwined as ever. We rely on each other more than most do and we need each other. This ecosystem of the internet needs us all- and together we fill holes, patch wounds, and plant gardens no one thought possible. I’ll never doubt the creativity, energy, potential, or care of people- even if it isn’t always perfect. It doesn't have to be. I just know it exists. People have given me so many chances, so much honesty, and so much room to grow- and I’m so excited every time I heard someone gasp in excitement over the phone or squeal that they just loved working with me.
I went from worrying if I’d make it to knowing I’d always be needed and wanted. From unsure and beginning to confident and growing steadily. There’s a lot I still don’t know, but I feel like I don’t need to. Just keep showing up, and keep following my gut, and everything will somehow work out just fine.
Right now, I’m a little pilled high with English essays and Latin tests and whatever Discord or Slack notification I just got from one thing or another- but, this little launchpad of mine is going to take me to space soon and I’m so damn excited. I don’t know if I’ll work for someone else- maybe I will, maybe I won’t. But the fact that I know that that’s an option- that is so incredibly beautiful to me.
The fact that today, a year or so from when I first went, “wait, what? I’m… in business now?” I’m now comfortable, content, and confident- even if not certain of much- is amazing. This time next year, I’ll be fresh off a few weeks of workcation- being able to make money while living and being wherever I want- and I’m so excited for that. I’m excited to learn more, to actually figure out this whole coding thing, to work on articulating my skillset and value, and to keep getting better and better at serving clients with great digital storytelling- in both words and visuals.
I’m genuinely, truly, and fully proud of myself and thankful for the people who have believed in and supported me, as clients, mentors, friends, and cheerleaders. This year has grown me and changed me and my future so, so much, and I can’t wait to keep building this garden called my life. I’m just grateful to get to do it while being my own boss, doing something I love, and serving people that genuinely inspire me and make me know the world’s not gonna burn just yet.
