“Do You Believe Everything Happens for a Reason?”
a.k.a. Worth Being Wrong For, pt.2
To say that my faith has had some re-working in the last year would be an understatement. But, I loved getting to share more about my own faith + spirituality in my first blog post about it called “Willing to Be Wrong For” and- I actually wrote all this in the same day too xD. But it felt too long + definitely waded more into the “Do you think everything happens for a reason?” // “Do you believe in destiny?” realm- so I wanted to save it for another time. And, well, here’s another time. Also, I understand spiritual talks are nuanced and deeply personal, so please don’t read me in a dogmatic or agenda-ed voice. That energy doesn’t really serve any of us.
At the end of Job- a Biblical book where Job suffers endlessly and seemingly without reason- when he finally meets God, God doesn’t give Him a reason or justify what happened or make excuses. He shows Job the world. The wild and the wonders of creation. How it is complex and intricate and layered and beautiful- even in its chaos or destructive powers. How the world is so much bigger than Job. How life and it’s elements are not an algebra equation or even a calculus formula- putting in numbers and factors and getting for-sure results. The only result he can know is that God is there and that God hears him and that God cares about him.
He is in the presence of a God who shapes the mountains and created the behemoth but also comes down as a whirlwind to speak to one, tiny speck of a human. And all Job is left with is awe.
In Ecclesiastes, the Teacher explores how all of life is vanity- a chasing of the wind. It’s smoke, hevel, temporary and fleeting, mysterious and beautiful. He concludes how life is ultimately unfair, death is the only thing we know for certain, and the march of time will devour us all eventually. Real fun, optimistic stuff.
But he concludes that to chase pleasure, to chase purpose, to chase, well, anything is pointless. You’re chasing the wind. But- however- to plant, to enjoy what you already have, to nourish and grow and cultivate what’s already in your own backyard- that is worthwhile. And even still, with all he says, he reminds us that God is good and the way of God is good.
God has still given us glimpses of Eden in the midst of the ferocious and uncertain wilderness. Oases in the desert.
And He gives these glimpses to all of us. Just like the Gospel is an open invitation, so are the good things of this life. The rain falls on both the good and the wicked, as Jesus says. Good can come to all of us. We can eat flavorful foods, taste the beauty of love and good company, see the beauty of creation, feel the buzz and wonder of creativity, work, and play. I’d like to argue there’s a touch of Eden in Chicken Shack’s spicy ranch and fries.
And like the Teacher said- life is unfair. As Relient K sang all too casually, “The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair” - and that’s the good kind of unfair. The kind of unfair where we can be a part of unjust systems, live in broken nations, be descendants of broken people, and then continuously treat ourselves, each other, and God as if none of them have value or innate worth- but God still says “Look what I did so that we could walk each other home. Walk with me. My yoke is easy and my burden is light, come to me and I will give you rest. I will be your refuge. I will be your rock. I will be your friend. I will be your Shepherd, making you lie down in green pastures and restoring your soul. My guidance will comfort you. You will have trouble, but I have overcome this world. Death and destruction and injustice will not have the final word.”
But life is also full of the not-so-good unfair. I don’t believe for a second that everything happens for a reason. I get that it’s a comforting thought but anyone who clings to that as their life’s motto is either incredibly desperate or incredibly privileged. Because no. Rape doesn’t happen for a reason- other than usually men refusing to see the value of anything besides their own wants. The African Slave Trade didn’t happen for a reason- other than greed and terrible hypocrisy. Human trafficking doesn’t happen for a reason- other than the reasons listed above. Racism doesn’t happen for a reason- other than, again, for the reasons listed above (see greed, hypocrisy, and refusing to see another’s value). I could go on and on and on.
Your boyfriend didn’t force you to do things you didn’t want to “for a reason”. Your parents didn’t leave you with a sense that you had to always perform or be eternally available for them “for a reason”. The sudden death in your life didn’t happen “for a reason.” No. Get rid of that. Because that logic will either make God this maniacal Divine Author who just wants to mess with us for some reason, painting Him as a bringer of terrible things, or make it seem like life is all about cause and effect- reasoning and rationality. If it had a purpose, it is okay. No matter how much this sucks, if it’s part of the Divine grand scheme- alright, that’s fine.
No. No. “Everything happens for a reason” dies as soon as a woman is raped and two camps form- the camp of ‘Well God must have allowed this to grow you or something” Yeah, so the loving, caring, all-powerful God wanted his beloved daughter, the bearer of His own image, a person he sent his Son to die for to be degraded and violated so intimately? No thank you. The Jesus I know trusted women, spoke to women, confided in women, believed in women, healed women, saw women, esteemed women- I don’t know if that Jesus and a God who’d will rape are the same guy. I wouldn’t much like it if they were.
Or, there’s the other camp “Well what did you do to cause this?” The rational camp. The cause and effect camp. Look, I don’t know how to tell you this but a woman existing shouldn’t be an open invitation. We shouldn’t live in a society where a man’s wants outweigh a woman’s humanity.
So kill that. Kill that logic in your head. It may hold a different nuanced meaning for you, and that’s okay. But if you believe that everything happens for a reason- because God wills it all or because one thing will always lead to another- it will not serve you well.
But. Here is the biggest but I can offer you. But- God does not waste anything. Not a single damn thing. Not a single broken, terrible, horrible, senseless, chaotic, or destructive thing is wasted in the hands of God. He will make all things come together for good for those who love Him. He will be our refuge regardless. He would never will rape or trafficking or slavery or abuse or bad parenting or selfishness- but he sit with us and the terrible scars and wounds of this world and help us heal, hold us as He shows us the scars in his own hands. How the senseless cruelty of when he walked the Earth marked him the same way. How he sweat blood praying and wishing that He wouldn’t have to be crucified, but he did it anyway- so that we could sit here with him. He will remind us of our value, our worth, and our possibilities if we choose to sit and be with Him as he restores our souls. As he meets us even in our tears, our aches, our longings, and our reopened scars that we thought were healed by now. He meets us through the people around us, through the good parts of the world he created, through His word, and through His Spirit planted within us if we trust Him with our lives. He is in us and for us and around us and beside us, a loving, peaceful presence who can handle the senseless this world throws at us. “In this world you will have trouble, but I have overcome the world.”
That was all a lot but my faith is alot to me. It is incredibly simple, yet deeply profound. And, like Dallas Willard said, “Never believe anything bad about God.” Because He isn’t. The God of the Bible, Jehovah, Yahweh, Emmanuel, Savior- He is my Shepherd. And I shall not want. Surely His goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. His guidance and protection comfort me. And I shall dwell in the House of the Lord forever. Those are hopeful verses- of course I will get scared, of course sometimes I’m dumb or wander off, of course God’s goodness does not mean I’ll have an easy or fair or perfect life- but He will be with me. I know where I will dwell and I know where I belong. And that- that’s worth being wrong for.
